5 Childhood Wounds That Affect Adults
Problems experienced in childhood can affect our quality of life as adults. Furthermore, they can significantly influence how we interact with our own children and how we deal with adversity.
Especially these 5 emotional wounds or painful experiences from childhood have the power to shape our personality according to the author Lise Bourbeau.
1 – Surrender
Loneliness is the worst enemy for people who experienced abandonment as children. People who are afraid of loneliness are at greater risk of abandoning their partners and their projects at an early stage due to fear of being abandoned. People with these fears may think things like ” I will leave you before you leave me”, “no one supports me, and I am not prepared to support anyone else”, “if you go you will not come back”…
People who have experienced abandonment in their childhood must work with their fear of loneliness, their fear of being rejected and their invisible barriers to physical contact.
Wounds caused by abandonment are not easy to fix, but once the healing process has begun, people with these fears often experience drastic improvements: their fear of loneliness disappears and is replaced by a positive and hopeful inner dialogue.
2 – Repulsion
This is a very deep wound and can increase our sense of rejection inside; the feeling of rejection thus influences our thoughts and feelings.
Many factors can influence the onset of this fear, such as rejection from parents, family or friends. It can generate more thoughts of rejection, of not being desirable and of being useless.
Everyone who suffers from this painful feeling feels that they do not deserve closeness and understanding, and they isolate themselves in their empty interiors, afraid of being rejected. Those who have been rejected as children tend to become volatile adults. Therefore, they have to work with their inner fears and situations that give them anxiety.
If this is the case for you, steps towards healing include learning to take risks and making decisions for yourself. It will bother you less and less every time someone slips away, and you will not take it personally if someone forgets you for a second.
3 – Humiliation
People who were continually humiliated as children believe that other people criticize and dislike them. Parents instill this fear in their children by saying that they are “bad” or that they are too clumsy or heavy. They can also talk about their problems in front of others. All of these things destroy a child’s self-esteem.
This fear often leads to the development of an addictive personality. Adults who were humiliated as children can also develop a tyrannical and selfish defense mechanism, and they also tend to humiliate others as a protective shield.
Everyone who suffers from this type of experience must work on their independence and freedom, their priorities and how to better understand the needs and fears of others.
4 – Betrayal
When a child is betrayed, mainly by a parent who does not keep his promise, this creates a lack of trust in others. This tendency of distrust can be turned into envy and other negative emotions because one can feel that one does not deserve what was promised and what others have.
Those who have been betrayed as children can grow up to be controlling people who must get everything exactly as they want. They will probably feel the need to exercise some control over others, which they often justify as part of a strong character.
These people tend to confirm their mistakes through their behavior. They must work on patience, tolerance and knowledge, and they must learn to be alone and how to delegate responsibility.
5 – Injustice
This fear comes from environments where the main guardians are cold and authoritarian. During childhood, excessive demands that push one’s boundaries can produce feelings of inefficiency and worthlessness, which progress into adulthood.
A direct behavioral consequence of injustice is rigidity, and these people generally try to be very effective and gain a lot of power. A fanaticism for order and perfection also develops as well as an inability to make decisions with certainty.
People who suffered from injustice during childhood must work to lower their levels of mistrust and mental rigidity in order to become more flexible and allow themselves to trust others.
Being aware of and recognizing these five wounds in the soul, which can affect our well-being, health and capacity to develop as human beings, enables us to begin to heal them.
