How To Improve Communication In A Relationship
Quarrels tend to attract negative emotions just as honey attracts bees. These conflicts often arise due to problems in communication in a relationship – we do not know how to express our opinions or feelings very well. This can lead to our partners misunderstanding or feeling attacked.
But that is not the only problem. In addition to knowing how to communicate, it is also important to know how to listen. Actually receiving the information that the other person is trying to convey will prevent unnecessary tensions. In this way we can avoid misunderstandings and make it easier to feel empathy for him.
When faced with problems that can arise due to conflicts in the relationship, good communication skills are perhaps the best tool you can use to find a solution together. The best ingredients for a solution are respect, understanding and pace.
It is also important to learn to communicate at the right time because we sometimes say things at the wrong time, which means that the interaction with the other deteriorates.
Problems arise even when communication in a relationship consists of a habit of trying to guess what the other is thinking or feeling because we are often wrong in these assumptions. We also tend to generalize – “you are always indifferent”, “you never listen to me”, “you have no control” – instead of specifying what we like and do not like. It is important that our non-verbal behavior is in line with what we say, rather than contradictory.
Regarding non-verbal behavior, it is necessary to keep the following points in mind. First and foremost, in interpersonal communication, it is important to maintain eye contact as well as to have a facial expression that is appropriate to the situation and what you are trying to say. Your posture should indicate that you are attentive to the other person. And finally, we recommend that the volume and tone of your voice is calm and objective.
In order to avoid making interpretations of others, it is important to replace the general language with a more operational one. If you focus on observable and quantifiable descriptions, you will not fall into the trap of generalization. Remember to emphasize positive information, communicate in the right place and in the right context and use correct non-verbal language.
A related point is that it is necessary to express the enjoyable feelings you experience and acknowledge the things the person does that you like. But you must also be able to communicate negative emotions. You should be able to explain to your partner how you feel about something that happened without starting a quarrel. For this to happen, one must have social skills as these greatly facilitate communication in a relationship.
In addition to knowing how to express what you think and feel about the other person and your relationship, it is important to be able to have conversations with each other. You need to ask questions, follow the conversation, listen to your partner and be able to end the dialogue.
An important thing to practice is your ability to listen. More specifically, you need to pay attention to eye contact as well as your physical orientation and closeness to the person. To show that you are listening, you can summarize what the person said and then ask for confirmation, to ensure that you have understood correctly.
It is also good to work on your speaking skills. It is important to be able to express yourself in the first person with short phrases. When it comes to making inquiries, you should also speak in the first person in a positive way and refer to specific behaviors. It is more effective to say “I would like us to go for a walk” than “you always lie on the couch and we never do anything together”.
Do you see the difference? These two messages will not be received in the same way, even if the goal is the same (to leave the house and spend time together as a couple). Communication is a fundamental part of relationships, and expressing ourselves properly can be the difference between a healthy and satisfying relationship, and a harmful and toxic one.
Pictures from Redd Angelo and Freestocks.
