Nobody Wins On Destructive Criticism – Never Forget It

Criticism and the fact that others judge one can sometimes be constructive and helpful, but no one gains from destructive criticism, which is something we are often exposed to. For some reason, there are always people who project their negativity and insecurities on others by criticizing. People who make it their own goal to point out all the “defects” that they see in the other person.

We have all been exposed to these people at some point. Sometimes we have even been these people. In fact, criticism is so common that it has become a common focus of many television and radio programs. It’s a common laugh or a common point in the program. Many people watch this type of program, but why? Why do they criticize in this way?

By understanding the critique mechanism, we will be able to become aware of how this behavioral pattern works. Therefore, we have chosen to include some of the main reasons why people criticize and judge others.

Everyone can be criticized, it’s just a matter of imagination.

A feeling of inferiority can motivate people to criticize others. Other times, it is feelings of superiority that are the motivating factor. Many who behave superiorly actually try to hide a feeling of inferiority. It tries to make them feel more secure.

So they meet this need by criticizing others or by watching TV shows that focus on the mistakes of others.

Sometimes we criticize others because they reflect our own shortcomings. When we criticize others, we deceive ourselves into believing that the problem lies with others and not ourselves. We criticize when we want to convince ourselves that others have defects and that they are worse than our own.

So by criticizing the same thing over and over again, we reflect on what we do not like about ourselves. We project our fears and uncertainties. In fact, when we do not accept our shortcomings and instead look for them in others, we create rejection and activate criticism. This phenomenon is known as “repulsing oneself”, and it clearly shows that no one wins over destructive criticism.

Jealous people are the biggest creators of criticism. When they feel inferior to someone, they will criticize him as a defense. They downplay the characteristics of the other person and magnify their defects, either real or fictional.

These people do not tend to make any self-criticism, but their energy is completely focused on persecuting others. They look away from themselves because they are afraid of what they may see.

Sometimes people criticize others because of social relationships. Studies have shown us that in order to be part of a group, we criticize others who are different from this group. Criticism will in this way strengthen our sense of belonging and can convince others that we are part of their group.

In these types of cases, the criticism can be conveyed by the group’s attitude. If it is encouraged within the group, it will probably happen more often and with higher intensity. If, on the other hand, it is made clear within the group that no one wins on criticism, the person with this behavior will change it.

When we think we are experts in something, we can start criticizing others to show how much we know and to confirm our authority. This comes from a lack of self-esteem and a willingness to be admired by others.

Criticism can also be based on revenge. These can be situations that have not been resolved or not forgiven. In these cases, we can turn to criticism as a form of humiliation or punishment. No one wins destructive criticism because we are not brave enough to tell someone who has hurt us face to face. We then turn to the critique to alleviate our frustration, anger and feeling of being hurt.

Criticism as a form of revenge is closely related to using manipulation as revenge. Sometimes we criticize others with the intention of separating him from his friends or to make the person feel alone.

When we feel that we deserve special treatment but do not receive this, we can feel that others owe us something. Because of this narcissistic feeling, we sometimes feel that others should be more helpful. When we feel that this is the case, we may use criticism to complain and make the other person feel bad.

No one wins on destructive criticism, but criticism can not be avoided. It will always come into our lives in some way. In this way, the “three-thirds law” is applied. One third is people who love us, another is people who hate us. The third is people who do not know us but who have an opinion about us.

However, we should not underestimate the negative and destructive power of the critics in this category. Winston Churchill compared the pain of criticism to physical pain. A study has also shown that criticism and humiliation deal with the same area of ​​the brain that deals with physical pain.

In order to live in this toxic epidemic of destructive criticism, there is an important guideline that we must follow: avoid and move away from negative people to protect yourself. These negative people spend their time poisoning others.

The most sensible thing you can do is maintain your distance, especially when others try to criticize you, because no one wins destructive criticism. Also, do not forget that interactions with this type of person can harm your emotional health.

It is important that you do not allow yourself to be infected by the negativity of others and that you do not take things personally when you are exposed to them. Remember that criticism says more about the person who gives it than the person who receives it. It’s his problem, not your own.