A Partner Would Have Been Nice, But It’s Not Necessary
Ever since Aristotle said “love consists of a single soul that exists in two bodies”, it seems that the need to have a partner has become increasingly necessary. But we do not always remember that he also said that “he who has the greatest power is the one who is master over himself.”
I understand that both of these statements are taken out of context, and I do not know how true it is that Aristotle uttered them, but they are good for introducing the subject of this article: romantic love can be very enriching, but it’s good to know that it is not necessary.
Having a partner is not necessary, but it can improve us
Consider the following situation: you have something important to go to, where you have been asked to dress a certain way, and you spend a lot of time thinking about what to wear.
Once you have figured out what more you should have for your clothes, this will make your outfit look better. With relationships, something similar happens because what is improved is the person under the clothes.
Complements (like having a partner) are not necessary, but if you choose to have them, they can contribute things you would not have without them. It’s like a bonus: a partner can share life experiences, support, and help that can improve you, because you learn from the person even when things are going badly.
Relationships with independence and freedom
Having a partner is a blessing as long as both people respect each other’s independence and freedom as this is the only way to grow. Within the relationship, there are two lives that both require individualized attention so that they can grow together later.
Once you have understood that you are happy to be single and that you do not need someone else to be happy, you understand the importance of these ideas.
Love is not something rational, but it needs to be somewhat reasonable if you want the relationship to be. Wanting to be with someone means that you understand that the person may disappear one day, and that you will move on, hurt, but whole.
Love is a choice, not an addiction
Love relationships should not be addictive, although they often are during the first few months. In the beginning, everything is a fog where time and space do not matter, and you continue to find reasons to be close to the other person.
But obsession is not helpful and it is something that can lead to toxic relationships where you stop appreciating yourself and instead live in a false world, unaware of how things really are.
If you choose to start a relationship, you should be ready to fall in love with the other person while also cultivating your self-love. You choose if or when you want to start or end this, because you do not belong to anyone and no one else belongs to you, even if you may have thought this at some point.
