When Irony Is Toxic
Constant use of irony, instead of being an attribute of elegant wit, can become a double-edged sword that undermines our self-confidence. This resource can seem very original, and those who use it often present a false image of subtle attraction and humor. But what is really hiding behind these personalities? Individuality, a little arrogance and a strange ability to look down on people around them.
The user of “bad irony” does not hesitate to use sarcasm to attack us in a very subtle and specific way. Despite this, it is still an abuse. Have you ever received this kind of malicious phrases? Let’s take a look at this and learn how to defend yourself.
The limits of irony
It is often said that in order to encourage daily happiness , one should have a sense of humor and even joke about oneself. It’s a way to put things in perspective and be a little more humble.
It never hurts to break the ice with a sarcastic joke. It is a smart personality trait that can help us smile. This is without a doubt “positive irony”, which does not hurt or want to attack anyone. Regardless of this, we can not overlook the second type, which deliberately harms everyone nearby.
Let us think of love relationships where one partner has all the control over the other. The constant use of irony and sarcasm is a way to dominate as well as ridicule the partner. A way to exaggerate one’s own value, lower motivation and deprive the partner of his or her energy.
The Argentine psychologist Bernardo Stamateas explains that the use of irony and sarcasm is a very common trait in toxic personalities. It can be a love partner, co-worker or even family member, but the goal is always the same: to slowly destroy our motivation and our self-worth.
If you constantly push yourself down, if you constantly make yourself smaller and more fragile, they will gain more and more control over you.
The use of this malicious irony has many masks, and it is possible that low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence hide beneath them. For this reason, you should carefully set boundaries to prevent them from destroying you from the inside.
How to defend yourself against negative irony
If there is someone who regularly uses irony in a negative way in your social circle or work environment, you should set boundaries as soon as possible. Otherwise, you will allow the person to attack you and make you vulnerable, and it is possible that his ” art ” will gain a better foothold and greater power with each passing day.
This resource can become a habit, and a habit can become a dominance when the practitioner thinks he or she has managed to humiliate you. Do not allow it. Never let anyone hurt you with this kind of negative irony.
Let’s take a look at some ways to defend yourself:
1. You receive a sarcastic comment. What is the first thing you should do? Think about it and analyze what was said. Do not rush and lift out the first thing you will think of. Some people are very good at using sarcasm, so it is possible that they are not trying to offend you. Be quiet and calm while analyzing the words that were said.
2. Did they insult you? Have they damaged your self-confidence? The last thing you should do is respond with more irony. Because if you do, you will only start playing their game – a cowardly game where words are not said directly and sincerely. You have integrity and do not have to play with expressions or people to say what you think.
3. Now say out loud what this person was trying to say, without using irony: Are you calling me a coward? Are you saying I can not do this? Do you think I’m less valid than you are? Line up the insults in all their crudeness so that the person can react and argue for them. Do this in a calm and sensible way and wait for his argument.
Outside the theater, irony is almost always harmful. Never let anyone be ironic about you and your abilities.
