We Are No Longer The Ones We Used To Be

We are no longer who we used to be, when everything seemed both close and far away. We will never be the people we used to be because life requires us to change. Not being “who we used to be” means that we are lucky enough to have had experiences that changed and taught us something.

It is often easy to confirm that the people around us have changed, and thus also our relationships with them. Other times we find it difficult to understand that we are also different, and realize that the mistake is to look at the past with today’s eyes.

It is logical that we usually define ourselves in the form of key events that have left a mark on us and that we know we will carry with us forever. These events can be the result of direct interactions with reality, from a journey to a love disappointment and even the anxiety of an upcoming mortgage repayment.

For example, let’s say we’ll be traveling to another country for a while. There we must adapt to the way of life of that people, to customs that differ from ours and perspectives that open up our minds. Another example is believing that we have found a true friend, only to find out that this is not true.

Regardless of whether the experience is good or bad, it is enough to fill us with emotions. We will never forget true happiness, nor will our cases. What remains after experiencing the experience will be the model of what we are today. Our essences are the same, but we are not who we used to be.

If we have to change as individuals, so will others, and thus also the relationships we share with them. When our social circle changes – family, friends, our partner – it is helpful to be able to adapt to change.

But it can also be the case that the changes lead to a break-up. We thought we really knew the people and did not think that you never know anyone completely, because we are all growing constantly.

When someone in our social circle disappears, it hurts us deeply, and it seems as if our world begins to collapse. Only time and effort make us able to find the person again and confirm that the wound has healed. Again, we will realize that we are no longer who we were.

Time sets us in motion: it swells over us, it shakes us, it teaches us, it uncovers us, and more than anything else, it does not leave us indifferent. Every single day, even if it seems wasted, has actually meant something. We make constant decisions, and when we do, we allow ourselves to be swept along.

Getting lost is perfectly okay, even if it does not seem so on the surface. It does not matter if we got lost in the sky where we were kept in a cloud of permanent happiness or if we got lost because we stayed on the ground for too long. Both have been our teachers and have shaped us a little more, both physically and psychologically.

What is important is to have the courage to continue to get to know ourselves and the security of how and who we are. In this way, we will be able to fully give ourselves to everything else and find centers of happiness that fill us. In other words, if we shine through our changes , we will help others shine through theirs.