Askungekomplexet

It could have borrowed its name from any fairytale princess. It is a complex based on childhood that affects personal relationships in the future. If you have daughters, do not miss reading this article because we will discuss a tradition that has existed for many years and that you can maintain without even knowing about it.

Telling your daughters that they are princesses is never a bad thing, but what we need to be careful about is raising them to patiently wait for the charming prince to arrive, just as the girl did in the Cinderella tale.

The idea of ​​a handsome gentleman on a white horse who comes and saves us with the kiss of true love (as in Snow White) or saves us from a hard life in captivity in the wind (like Cinderella) seems good in our heads, but actually happens Never.

The Cinderella complex has been studied by researcher Colette Dowling, who has written the book The Cinderella Complex: Women’s Hidden Fear of Independence. It can be said that it addresses women’s unconscious desire to be constantly protected and cared for while giving up their own interests and goals. This may be due to social or religious pressure. Dowling says that this complex in reality comes from the fear of being independent.

The name Dowling gave his study could not be more accurate. We all know the story of Cinderella: a young girl who is forced to spend her days taking care of her evil stepmother and step-sisters, and who is not allowed to go to the prince’s ball until her good fairy turns her into a princess.

The newly transformed princess then drops her glass shoe, and the lovesick prince goes from house to house to find its owner. According to this story, a woman should be innocent, beautiful and of course dependent on her husband or “charming prince”.

In the tale of Cinderella, the good fairy turns her into a princess, and because of this, her masculine savior meets her at the prom. Dowling says that women can only change their life path by entering into a relationship with a man. Unfortunately, the exact opposite happens, and she becomes a slave or servant instead.

It is very likely that many women think of this as the need to be independent in everything they do, while others do not think it is so bad for a man to take on things, such as being the breadwinner while the woman stays at home to clean and take care of the children.

Why is the Cinderella complex negative?

To begin with, this complex or state of mind prevents a woman from developing her abilities beyond taking care of the home and children. Times have changed to the point that many women no longer want to get married and start a family, but instead focus on developing a strong professional career.

After marriage, both men and women have the right to pursue their own dreams and achieve their personal goals. The Cinderella complex claims that this is not the case because the woman must stay at home while she is “protected” by her husband.

A spouse who is too dependent on her husband suffocates both people. It is this “lady in need” complex that can seriously affect a relationship. Being married is not a fairy tale. If a woman is not confident in herself and does not make her own decisions, everything will fall apart for both people.

We all need affection, protection and to be “saved” at some point in life. However, this may not be the rule, but rather an exception. A hug that saves us from a bad day is perfect, just as the right word in a bad situation can also heal.

In conclusion , the Cinderella Complex is negative because it does not allow women to achieve their personal goals. The complex transforms these women into helpless individuals in need of constant rescue.

What happens when the “princess / woman” becomes single?

This is definitely worth a look. We can say, for example, that when two people are divorced, the spouse realizes that she does not have what it takes to move forward in life, neither emotionally nor financially. Therefore, she chooses another man who can maintain her saga, and she is thus a prisoner in a vicious circle.

How do we avoid the Cinderella complex in our own families?

If you are the mother or father of young daughters, fill them with the power of preparation. Teach them that it is necessary to learn certain things and to have work experience before they get married or start a family.

If you also have sons, encourage them to help at home so that the daughters are not always expected to take care of the chores that are considered “feminine” by society.

Raise sons and daughters who are capable of achieving their goals and fulfilling their dreams, so that they can aim to enjoy a healthy and balanced relationship in the future. However, never stop treating your children like princes and princesses.