How Many Maybe Between No And Yes?

We do not say what we want to say. We say yes when we want to say no, we refuse when we want to agree, one may mean no or yes… What is wrong with us when we have to express our opinion?

Quite often we undoubtedly find ourselves trapped in situations we do not want to be in because we did not know how to say no, sometimes afraid of the reactions of other people involved and sometimes due to a compromise.

Maybe the reason does not matter; what is important is that we deny ourselves by disconnecting what we think and want from what we say.

Knowing how to say no

Learning to say no, to refuse to do something we do not like or that makes us feel bad, is vital if we want to be happy and at peace with ourselves.

There are many reasons why it is important to say no:

• Not being consistent. It is necessary that we learn to say no when we really only agree to make the other person (partner, parent, friend, etc.) happy. Avoiding being addicted or living to constantly please other people will allow us to be freer.
• To choose for yourself. Our lives cannot be in the hands of others; if we do not choose what we want to do, where we want to go or what kind of people we want by our side, we will live the lives of others and not our own. People who love us often think they know what is best for us, but sometimes, despite good intentions, it is their fears that control them; fears that are not ours.

• Say no and get rid of your anxiety. When we want to say no and actually say no, we feel liberated, in harmony with our thoughts and our deepest feelings. When, on the other hand, we are faced with situations where we say no out of fear, we are invaded by discomfort, stress and anxiety.
• Make yourself happy, not others. It is true that sometimes we have to give in, but never at the expense of our own success. Decisions made for fear of others’ reactions or because of a sense of obligation will probably affect us negatively in the future because we are not happy and make decisions for ourselves.

Advice for learning to say what you really want to say

Be determined

Determination allows us to express our feelings and what we think in a clear way, while creating neither discomfort nor hostility.

Determination means that you can express what you want while showing empathy, but without omitting what we really want to say. It’s about saying what we want with love, respect and determination.

Strengthen your self-esteem

Self-esteem, or how we look at ourselves, is fundamental if we want to be able to say what we think. Low self-esteem will leave us in the hands of other people’s opinions.

It is very important that we learn to have our own opinions and value ourselves as people, so that we can have happy and fulfilling lives – so that we can have the life we ​​want.

Get rid of all guilt

Think of all the times you said what you thought without feeling any guilt at all, but felt liberated and at peace with yourself. Be yourself, with your virtues and cons. Do not feel guilty about who you are.

Think of all the things you say yes to when you say no. For example, if they want you to work extra hours at work and you say no, then you say yes to spending time with your family, enjoying your friends, exercising what you like in your free time, etc.

Photos by Alexandra Nedzvetskaya and Cathy Delanssay.