Some Things Come When You Stop Looking

Some call them magical moments, when things “click”. We talk about the moments when the thing we dreamed about, searched for or waited for as long as suddenly arrives as from nowhere. And it only happens when you stop looking.

It embraces you when you come around the corner or show up in the inbox of your email account one fine day… Just when you stop looking, fate shows up with an unexpected gift. The world is unpredictable and sometimes chaotic. It feels like a maze with no exit.

And these moments actually occur considerably more often than we think. Some associate these events with the very attractive “science” turn. But true experts in the subject know the truth behind these “random” events.

When our dreams come true, the magic wand of possibilities touches us. Behind these moments there is some science and lots of psychology…

An example is found in a very interesting book. In The Medicine Effect , Frans Johansson explains how it is sometimes not enough to be a total expert in a field to be successful. Dedicating all our effort, time and energy to one goal does not actually guarantee that we will reach it 100%. Sometimes we have to distance ourselves a little.

We need to get other perspectives and think in a less linear, more creative way. One that is flexible, patient and original. And there is something just as important we must not forget. Sometimes the most unexpected actions are guided by our subconscious. And it is when you stop looking that this is seriously activated.

When we give our conscious, rigid, sometimes obsessed and always analytical mind a certain amount of distance, our sixth mind is awakened, and whether we believe it or not, it is never wrong.

Take a minute and think about it.

Andrea has a small movement that does not go well at all. She knows that her sale of pastries is not profitable and that she must close within a few months. She has spent weeks thinking about what to do.

So between the pressure, the anxiety and the grief of closing her family business, tears have suddenly begun to flow down her cheeks. She’s exhausted. But the next morning she steps up at a clear pace. She says to herself: “It is certain, what must happen will happen and I will tackle what comes.”

She takes a shower in a comfortable calm and the right kind of mental peace. While she is showering, she receives a notification on her phone from one of her social networks.

When she picks up the phone, she gets a flash of inspiration. She will take her business online, post her shop on social media and make special pastries and desserts for parties and events.

This is a simple example of how our brain works when we stop squeezing it. We see how it becomes more and more receptive when you stop looking and move out of the fog of fear.

We have explored these magical moments but stumbled upon another fascinating area: intersectional thinking.

As human beings, we have a certain common habit. It is trying to predict everything that can happen if we do or do not do certain things. We create tables in our minds. We add columns, analyze facts, correlate variables and make large and sometimes fatalistic predictions.

Instead of using our very linear and analytical left hemisphere, it would be much more useful for us to use intersectional thinking. It is characterized by the following characteristics:

• To be able to make connections between information and stimuli that have nothing to do with each other.
• A person who is capable of intersectional thinking can find peace in the midst of chaos.
• In the midst of this balance and peace, a person who uses intersectional thinking can connect everything around him because he is open, receptive and curious. Because he likes to “play” with all the information he takes in – tests, rejects, invents and transforms…

This type of person will also not be obsessed with looking for a single solution to their problems. Most often she will allow herself to be swept away by her surroundings and accept the unexpected, the random…

To be lucky in life, the right circumstances must sometimes be there. But for these circumstances to appear before us, the brain must decide to know how to recognize possibilities where others may only see a closed door.

We want to be clear about something. Luck has nothing to do with magic. Coincidences exist, but often they are “coincidences” created by an exceptional and amazing organ: the brain.

It is one we should trust to a greater extent. Only when we free our minds from anxiety, limiting attitudes, fears and obsessions will our whole brain expand and transform. It will start working 100%.

This will allow us to be receptive, and it gives us the chance to listen to the inner, wise voice that often leads us to true possibilities. So let’s not obsessively focus on what concrete things we want. Let us learn to be more receptive; to see the bigger picture.

Pictures from Ben Giles.