Some Neighbors Are Worse Than Toothache
Having bad neighbors is a nightmare that no one wants to experience. With the increasing popularity of rental apartments, condominiums and other shared living areas, neighbor problems are also on the rise. This is no small problem – among some neighbors it has gone as far as murder.
Some situations are nothing more than a ruthless war. There are many possible sources of such conflicts: a shared moldy wall, far too loud music, annoying animals… Anything can lead to a confrontation that no one knows how to resolve.
Incidents of harassment between neighbors have become so common that psychology has developed a term for this – “blocking”. The meaning is similar to bullying – aggression, coercion and internal intolerance.
Any small thing can trigger a conflict between neighbors and become something big. It is normally about a power struggle. Both parties believe that they have the right to force their way of thinking on the other. None of them have any intention of compromising – they want to win at any cost.
In many apartments and residential areas, people are curious and like to gossip. Groups behave a little like parties. Gossip and rumors abound and multiply. “Say and so always ask for alcohol, who knows what person he is”, “I see you-know-who with a new woman every night.” Obviously, people believe that the fact that they share a building gives them the right to snoop in people’s lives.
It is a very small step from gossip to conflict. It is not uncommon for some neighbors who cannot agree to accuse each other of harm, destruction or theft. Finally, a common factor is mistrust and suspicion. Forget the idea that a neighbor should be something between an acquaintance and a friend, someone you can expect solidarity from. Forget the idea that problems between neighbors can be solved without declaring war.
Almost no one is lucky enough to be able to choose their neighbors. They move in and out by chance. Certainly most neighbors have something in common (live in the same building, belong to the same social class, have similar habits). However, some neighbors are not happy to see others in the distance. They want to inject themselves into their lives and tell them how to live. Some simply do not tolerate the way other people live.
If someone pulls at full volume at 2 in the morning, it will of course disturb the neighbors. But it is not logical to forbid someone to hammer on a nail in order to be able to hang a painting on the wall in the middle of the day in their own home. There is no way to silence it, and even if it is annoying, it is not serious enough to lead to war. There is no reason for a disagreement to end with someone being poisoned or for rubbish being dumped on someone’s steps.
Although it seems incredible, this happens in several places where people share space. It is not like in the past when almost everyone lived in houses and it was not as easy to bother people. Nowadays, it is not uncommon for a quarrel to have an audience on the other side of the wall. So the line between the public and the private is not as clear anymore.
Respect and communication
It easily feels as if your home has been invaded by other people’s eyes, ears and actions. It’s annoying. But at the same time, most of us want to live and do what we want in our homes without being judged by others. It’s just harder these days and in some cases almost impossible.
It is definitely a situation that creates friction which can lead to conflict. In any case, before your situation becomes a real hell, it is best to open up an honest and mature dialogue because they are the only ones who can prevent the situation from escalating. In any case, it is best to try to piece things together before declaring war or moving elsewhere.
