The Importance Of Self-love When Choosing A Partner

We have all been told at some point that you cannot love someone else if you do not at the same time understand the importance of self-love, but it is not so easy to love yourself.

To improve self-love, you must work on getting to know yourself properly. This requires that you understand your own beginning in life and your life story. You also have to learn from and accept this story, which is not always easy. It is important to remember the importance of self-love and self-awareness when choosing a partner.

We may know the benefits of self-love, but we will not be able to understand the importance of self-love if we do not work with ourselves. We will not be able to achieve this if we do not learn to manage our emotions with new models. Neurologist, psychiatrist and author Boris Cyrulnik believes that we must observe different types of people and emotional styles in order to succeed in our endeavor.

The different love styles teach us that the concepts of love, independence and hatred are not related to a particular type of behavior. If we understand this, we will also open our minds and develop our personality.

We learn to bond and socialize with others from an early age. We bond with our parents and the rest of the family. We observe and learn how they treat us and how we can bond with others.

We then slowly but surely expand our social circles. As we grow, we begin to get to know more people and also experience our first romantic relationship.

Boris Cyrulnik claims that our childhood will determine the types of bonds we form with our partners in the future. He believes that there are different types of couples, and we can divide them into three groups:

• Couples where both people give each other support
• Couples where one person hurts the other
• Couples where both people hurt each other

The couples where both support each other last longer, and if they decide to separate, the process will not be as tough. This joint support improves both their well-being and emotional balance.

In those couples where they are focused on hurting each other, a change must take place. You can change your negative attitudes or try to find a new meaning that the relationship can be based on. If this is not possible, it may be best to end it.

To succeed in getting out of a relationship, we sometimes have to feel a certain amount of self-confidence, and we therefore seek support from others. This can lead to looking for a new partner before it is appropriate to do so, which means that you do not learn much from the previous experience and that you make the same mistakes in the new relationship.

You choose your partner unconsciously, but it is also a choice based on what you have been through before. If we do not try to improve ourselves and achieve greater self-awareness, we will not be able to choose a partner who really gives us support and vice versa.

A romantic partner can not take care of all our needs. Such a perception is just a fantasy that will eventually lead to frustration. We must also have relationships and bonds with other people to enrich social life.

One must see oneself as a perfect being. If you do not do this, you will not understand what love really means. If you believe that love is a feeling that can handle everything, you will stop thinking realistically and not understand that even love has its limitations.

Our perceptions and our behavioral patterns are not only governed by what we have experienced in our immediate environment. We are also exposed to many social stereotypes: strict models that we believe the world will adapt to.

The media has a major impact on our behavior through the indoctrination of these stereotypes. TV, film, music and literature give us a lot of information, but we need to think about whether this information is fair and sufficient. We are bombarded with fairy tales and stories that indicate that love and suffering go hand in hand.

It’s like the more the couple quarrels, the more love there is. Since childhood, we have been told that “two people who quarrel want each other” or “the one who loves you will make you cry”. We then dream of impossible or secret relationships filled with passion and warmth, which can make us choose a partner based on a distorted romantic fantasy.

All of these perceptions cause us to get stuck in a fixed role within the current relationship and relationships in general. This is a learned role that can run over our true identities, feelings and desires. In order to break free from these preconceived notions, it is important to learn the importance of self-love. This is not easy, but it can be done.

Incorrect social perceptions about what it really means to have a relationship can make us choose the wrong partner and end up in an emotional addiction. We forget that we can be with people who have the same values ​​as ourselves.

If we are to strengthen our “emotional immune system,” we must get to know ourselves and achieve a self-love that enables us to make informed decisions and choose a partner who will improve our happiness. Before we try to find happiness with another person, we must first have found it on our own.

Both people must respect each other in the relationship, and it should be a free choice to be together. You should not be in a relationship because you want to fill a void. You should build a relationship because you prefer to be with your partner, while being able to be alone.

You choose your partner by looking into your heart, but you should also remember your own needs and desires. It is important to achieve a relationship where both parties support each other. However, this process will depend on the goodwill of both people.

Each person has an individual responsibility for the success of the relationship. It is important that you take care of yourself, that you get to know yourself and that you understand the importance of self-love.