9 Signs Of Psychological Manipulation In Our Words
Not to answer. To use sarcasm. To say that it is impossible to talk to you. To speak condescendingly, as if you were a child. To threaten with an ultimatum. Signs of psychological manipulation in communication and language come in many different forms. It is a form of mental exploitation and emotional abuse that we must learn to recognize.
Licio Gelli was one of the most vicious men in Italian history. This agent of the so-called Masonic lodge Propaganda Due was a neo-fascist who specialized in the manipulation of the masses. This evil person once said that in order to control someone you just have to know how to communicate. He showed that language is a weapon that can be used in a perverse way for the purpose of dominating.
We are all too familiar with this. In politics, the marketing industry, and the vast universe that is the mass media, there is an almost constant use of manipulation to seduce us, influence our decisions, and ultimately control us.
As we step into the private sphere, everything becomes a little more complex.
We talk about our communication with our family, partners, friends… Signs of psychological manipulation and emotional manipulation are everywhere, but are often camouflaged. We can also subconsciously fall into the trap of using them ourselves. Therefore, it is important to know how to detect and react to them.
We must understand that it is important not only to be careful about what we say, but also how we say it.
When we refer to the idea of psychological manipulation through words, the first thing that occurs is an imbalance in the relationship in question. It is the use of language to benefit oneself. Not just to control the other person, but to hurt him. Our exposed emotions are what produce this hidden aggression within us.
Aldous Huxley said words can be like X-rays. Used in a Machiavellian way, they can permeate everything: self-esteem, dignity, and even identity. Let us therefore learn to see them, to understand a little more about this destructive dynamic on a personal level.
Here are nine signs of psychological manipulation:
1. Manipulation of facts
Every expert on psychological manipulation in communication is a great strategist when it comes to stretching the truth. He will always turn it in his favor, reduce his share of responsibility and place the blame on others.
Furthermore, he will exaggerate and withhold information to ensure that the balance always leans towards his version of the “truth”.
2. She will say that you are impossible to talk to
This approach is simple, direct and effective. If something says you are “impossible to talk to”, she avoids exactly what you want to do: talk about the problem. It is common for her to say that we are too emotional, that we make a feather out of a feather and that she cannot talk to us.
Ironically, she accuses us of exactly what she is guilty of: poor communication skills.
3. Intellectual harassment
The psychological and emotional manipulator often forces us to use a very common communication strategy. We’re talking about intellectual harassment. He constantly bombards us with arguments, different facts and complicated reasoning to exhaust us emotionally and convince us that he is right.
4. Ultimatum and some time to make decisions
If you do not accept what I say, it’s over. I’ll give you tomorrow to think about what I said. This type of communication is undoubtedly very painful. The situation generates anxiety and can cause great emotional suffering.
We must understand that if someone respects and truly loves us, they will never use these “all or nothing” threats. It is a clear sign of psychological manipulation.
5. To repeat our name during conversations
When someone repeats our name almost continuously and excessively in a situation, they use a clever control mechanism. By doing so , they force the other person to pay attention and make them feel scared.
6. Irony and black humor
Using irony and black humor that wants to humiliate and mock is another common sign of psychological manipulation. The manipulator wants to diminish us and tries to force on us his alleged psychological superiority.
7. Use of silence or avoidance
I do not want to talk about it. It’s not really working right now. Why are you bringing it up now?
This type of communication is very common between partners, especially if one of them lacks communication skills and a sense of responsibility.
8. To claim incomprehensible: “I do not understand what you mean”
This is a classic tactic. She pretends not to understand what the other person wants to convey or do. It’s playing with that person’s mind. She tries to argue that the other person is doing things too complicated and that the conversation is illogical.
This is a classic for the passively aggressive manipulator, where she avoids taking responsibility and tries to make the other person suffer.
9. He lets you speak first
One of the most subtle signs of emotional manipulation is when one person always gets the other person to speak first. With this strategy, you achieve several things. The first is to have more time to prepare their arguments, the second is to find your weak points.
It is also common for the manipulator, after listening to us, to avoid expressing his own ideas or opinions. She only asks questions, and instead of trying to reach an agreement, she emphasizes our weaknesses. She turns the conversation in such a way that we look clumsy and weak.
It may be true that there are many other strategies for psychological and emotional manipulation in human communication, but these are undoubtedly the most common. They are forms of intimidation tactics that not only limit the ability to establish an effective dialogue, but also oppress the other person and neutralize him at all levels: personal, emotional and mental.
We must learn to recognize these signs of psychological manipulation.
