When Your Loneliness Is Unbearable, It’s Time To Act
When you think of loneliness, you probably think of it as something negative. We are all influenced by unpleasant experiences and irrational beliefs about the possibility of “ending alone”. If you do not find a solution to this, you may begin to feel that your loneliness is unbearable.
The moment you feel lonely or think you will always be alone, you start to feel bad. You feel pressured and you begin to feel suffocated. This can lead to you making bad decisions. The best thing you can do when your loneliness is unbearable to avoid this situation is to act.
How does loneliness make you feel? Anger, or maybe sadness? Identifying your feelings when you feel lonely is important so that you can release them. If you let go of them, they will not hurt you. If you ignore them, they will not disappear. On the contrary, they grow inside you and become toxic, creating an even greater void inside you.
To identify what and how you feel during these moments, it helps to write an emotion diary. In it you can write down the sensations, feelings and impulses that you experience when you are alone. Another option is to write a letter to someone and describe how you feel. You can also draw a picture, talk to someone you trust or simply seek professional help.
At first, you probably think you do not have time for something like this. This is because it is difficult to look at what is causing you pain, which is why you are avoiding it. But when you face your pain face to face, you can let go of what makes you feel bad and finally accept it. This is an extremely important, if not absolutely crucial, step.
Once you have identified what makes you lonely, you need to stop any behaviors or attitudes that feed it. For example, you may separate from your immediate family and friends because you are feeling unwell. It is one thing to be alone, but another very different thing is to act so that you remain alone.
You have to make an effort to make new friends. You must try your best to leave behind relationships with people who make you feel more alone. Try to notice when you accept invitations to things that you would not normally go to just because you feel bad. Ask yourself, “If I did not feel this way, would I go?” If the answer is “yes” then you should make the effort.
What beliefs do you have that make you feel that your loneliness is unbearable? Maybe you think being single means you are a failure. Or maybe you feel that you are not capable of getting someone to stay, or that doing things alone is embarrassing.
The only way to combat these feelings is to accept them and do the opposite. Do you find it embarrassing to go and have a cup of coffee or go to the cinema alone? Go and do it! You will find that you are not the only person doing it, and more importantly; You will realize that it can actually make you feel good.
Why not try a new activity or hobby? Maybe you work 8 hours a day and you think you are busy enough. But when you get home and you are alone without plans, you start to ponder and have negative thoughts about loneliness. Instead, go to the course you have always wanted to take or plan to go to the Zumba gym after work.
There are things that will help you grow as a person and become self-realized. In addition, it helps you meet new people and you realize that you are not as lonely as you think! You need to actively confront your grief and realize that you are not dependent on anyone to be happy.
Start questioning your beliefs. Do not compare yourself with other people. Do what you like to do, without worrying about whether other people can participate. Your happiness and joy are at stake. You deserve the best, you deserve to feel good and to feel happy with yourself and for yourself, not just when there are other people around or you are in a relationship.
