Kindness Does Not Have To Stand Above Determination

Right now you may be thinking “Really? Do you mean that kindness can be a problem in a relationship? I wish mine was full of it! ” I claim that it is exactly as the singer and spokesperson Ricardo Arjona says: “The stupid fear of seeing yourself old and without a partner makes you choose with your head what should be chosen with your heart.” That’s when you make a mistake.

As incredible and absurd as it may seem, kindness and all misunderstood feelings can be a serious problem in a relationship. Even the noblest of intentions can be distorted and turned into pain, anger, misunderstanding…

To understand the problem that kindness can bring to a relationship, it is good to know the study from a research team at the University of Toronto, which was conducted regarding this a few years ago.

Research showed that kindness can be a serious problem in a relationship if a member has the inability to express objections. The relationship suffers if a partner chooses kindness over taking care of their own needs.

People have a need to socialize. Furthermore, we are more or less empathetic. However, this extreme situation can lead to one member deciding to accept a situation that is not tolerable just to avoid conflict.

In this study , the researchers found that certain profiles with excessive empathy and high levels of kindness suffered serious problems when choosing a partner. This was due to their inability to dismiss, which in turn was caused by fear of later feeling guilty.

It is obvious that too much empathy and kindness can lead to bad decisions in relationships. If it continues over time, it can end in serious illness and mental problems. It is therefore important to take certain measures.

Although it may seem unusual , it is important to know how to say “no”. Always polite and not in abundance. A timely dismissal can be a major mental health test. Not everyone knows how to say no, but it is necessary to do so to avoid uncomfortable situations.

Kindness in a couple can in many cases be associated with guilt. Putting certain self-interests before one’s partner, always within reasonable limits, is not a reason to feel guilty.

There are also cases where kindness in a partner is associated with low self-esteem. Very helpful people can actually hide insecurity. They prefer to accept everything to make sure they are accepted.

If we look closer, feelings of guilt, inability to say no or low self-esteem can always be associated with profiles that lack self-confidence. From this point of view, there are serious cases that need to be studied by an expert.

A relationship should never be a pit of uncertainty and problems. Although it may not be perfect, it should improve your quality of life. Otherwise, it may be a good idea to reformulate the terms. Here are some signs that you have this type of relationship:

• If you are a person who unselfishly gives in constantly, but does not get enough answers to it.
• If you feel that someone is taking advantage of your kindness and good behavior, perhaps you should evaluate the situation.
• Healthy kindness often comes with optimism. But your partner may experience discomfort in connection with this. You may feel that your partner is naive or even “stupid” because of his or her excessive kindness. If this reaches extreme levels then there is reason to doubt.
• If you notice that your partner does not take you seriously and thinks that your kindness only responds to an attitude of false happiness, then you may not be with the right person.

• If your partner does not strengthen your personality and optimism, but becomes a source of uncertainty for you.

In short, it is clear that if something as beautiful and admirable as kindness can become a source of unhappiness and problems in the relationship, then something is not right in it.

The 6 stages of love relationships

Love relationships grow, develop and change in accordance with very distinct and defined stages. This explains why we do not feel the same way a few years into a relationship as we did when we first… Read more »