Are Love Promises Future-proof Or Just Illusory?

Love promises have been around as long as romance has been around. These great commitments are usually uttered during moments of intense passion or fear.

Those who make love promises probably want to fulfill them. However, they are not always aware of how likely it is that they will be able to meet these commitments in the future. Thus, they sometimes become lies.

A large part of trust in a relationship arises through the ability to believe in each other. Inconsistency breaks relationships because it damages our ability to trust each other. Love promises create expectations that people do not always meet. Are love promises a good idea? Or is it better not to take them off?

Romantic love vows

Although paradoxical, love promises serve the purpose of creating a sense of stability in the person expressing them. “I will love you forever” is a statement that aims to provide security and create long-term expectations. The same goes for “I will never find someone like you” or “You can always trust me”.

Marriage is the formalization of a series of vows. A union where both people undertake certain attitudes towards their partner. The expectation is that the relationship will last forever. Yet some people interpret these promises as part of the folklore of love. They understand that a person who promises probably means what he says. However, things may change in the future.

In addition, other people cling to such promises as a person in distress who clings to a lifeguard. A person who lacks affection, is addicted, or identifies covenants as the ultimate fulfillment of his vital desire, can take the promise in a much deeper and decisive way.

Love vows and conflicts

Some love promises are more complex because people make them after a conflict. Usually they are about not repeating any offensive behavior. “I will never lie again” or “I will never be unfaithful to you again”, for example.

However, these are not real love promises. In fact, they can lead to a radical loss of confidence when broken. They also help to form toxic relationships, where a person’s words increasingly lose value.

The most important effects of broken promises are disappointment and failed communication. This is because what the other person says ceases to be credible and the pact begins to lose value. This leads to a deficient type of dialogue where blame, lack of trust in the partner and the feeling that words do not mean anything have priority. This destroys a relationship because good dialogue is absolutely crucial.

Forgive or reevaluate the word?

Cycles with broken love promises often end with new promises, acts of incomplete compensation or unauthorized forgiveness. There are times when a person is unable to fulfill his promises due to an exceptional circumstance. The fact that it may not be possible to fulfill a commitment does not mean that you will never achieve it. In such cases, forgiveness gives way to a new covenant, which the person fulfills this time.

Either way, it’s a good idea to evaluate the real importance of a promise in a relationship. Stability, peace of mind and even affection are associated with it. Nothing makes a relationship stronger than trust and dialogue.

Thus, the solution may not lie in fulfilling love promises but rather in thinking carefully before making them or doing so in forms that you can actually keep.

As a rule, love promises that contain “always” or “never” represent serious challenges. This is because no one can maintain stable behaviors. Thus, people need to keep this in mind before claiming that they will be able to promise anything.

In relevant matters, it is important to measure the scope of the content of the promises correctly. It may be necessary to delimit them in a more precise way in time or to condition them according to circumstances that may arise. Making only reality-based and realistic promises will help you build a healthier relationship without disappointment or mistrust.