Are You Dominated By Your Impulses?

Are you dominated by your impulses? Keep reading for an explanation and strategies for how to control your impulsivity.

Impulses come from your irrational, primitive side. It’s like trying to tame a wild animal. It may seem calm at times, but in some situations it acts according to its nature.

In these moments, it does not matter if what the animal does in the end is beneficial to you or not. In short, impulses put your self-control to the test.

Dominant impulses are the root of many psychological problems. Addictions are obvious examples, but uncontrolled impulses are also characteristic of diseases such as bulimia and borderline personality disorder.

Impulse control problems cause emotional tensions that are difficult to shake off. It is only when you give in to the impulse that you experience relief from this tension.

The relief you feel amplifies the impulse and makes it even harder to control. It is also short-lived, and once it has disappeared, you are left with much deeper and more depressing feelings: guilt and remorse.

Over time, you may forget these horrible feelings and make the same mistake again. The desire for temporary pleasure eventually leads to you feeling that you are not capable of resisting your impulses.

You feel powerless before them. This can be a vicious circle that is very difficult to break away from.

Where do the impulses come from?

Researchers do not know the exact source of impulses, but by looking at the people in individual cases gives us some information about which scenario is more likely.

You can also learn to be impulsive through imitation. If you see that your parents handle problems in an impulsive and impatient way, you will do the same.

The good news is that you can learn to change these patterns. Studies show that a lack of serotonin in the brain can make people predisposed to act impulsively.

As a consequence, researchers believe that selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors may be effective for people with this problem.

However, the effectiveness of these drugs is limited. They may help initially, but they will not teach you alternative, functional behavior.

The second problem is that you develop a tolerance to the drug and also that you experience certain side effects.

It seems that some emotional wounds from childhood may also be partly responsible for your impulsive behavior as an adult.

When researchers look at the past of people who are pathologically impulsive, they find certain gaps in their upbringing. It may be an absent parent or lack of affection or emotional regulation.

People want to fill these gaps as quickly and as intensely as possible.

Are you dominated by your impulses? How can you handle them?

Learning to deal with the impulses that dominate one is not easy. As we mentioned earlier, impulses are like wild animals, and we all know that it is not easy to tame a wild animal. It requires patience, willingness and perseverance.

With that said, it is unrealistic to think that you can completely control your impulses. Instead, celebrate your small victories along the way.

Time to think

The first step towards freeing yourself from impulses is to distance yourself from situations that trigger them. When you step away, even if only for a moment, you slow down your impulsivity.

Impulses do not last long, although they can be intense. This is something that can be to your advantage if you are aware of it. The longer you resist the impulse, the more likely you are to be able to solve the problem correctly.

Give the impulse a name

It is important to give your impulse a name and see what it really is. Say to yourself: “This is just another impulse. I do not have to do what it wants. “

The key is to disconnect from who you are. See your impulse as an enemy attacking you instead of something that is a part of you.

Focus your five senses on something else

While you are waiting for the emotional intensity of what you are experiencing to subside,  try to do something that distracts your mind. Go and run something unrelated to the impulse.

It will force you to focus on what to buy, what to say to the cashier, how much money you need, etc. These are banal things that will help you concentrate and make time go by.

But make sure you do not just replace one impulse with another. Leaving a situation of high conflict to drink alcohol or smoke is not healthy.

Think about your goals and consequences if you are dominated by your impulses

If I follow this impulse, what will happen then? Will I feel better? How long will my relief last? Do I want to be the type of person who can not control himself? Is this in line with my beliefs and values?

If you are clear about your goals and values ​​in life but do something you should not, you will create a cognitive dissonance.

This dissonance is an unpleasant mental state, a type of “I want to but I should not” that you should try to avoid.

Try to make sure that everything you do is logical with regard to who you are and what your goals are.

Solve the problem (if there is one)

If the problem has a solution, it’s not a bad idea to explore the options so you can try to solve it. To do this, you need to use problem-solving techniques.

If the problem comes from your mind and does not have a solution, you should stamp it as such in your mind and try to let it go.

Tolerate discomfort to avoid being dominated by your impulses

Controlling your impulses involves dealing with a certain amount of voltage that is initially unpleasant. This discomfort is often the reason why people let their impulses dominate them.

The key is to dominate your impulses, even if it hurts and causes anxiety. Anxiety, or emotional upset, is just emotions caused by chemical reactions in the brain.

It will not kill you or trigger disasters. When you learn to tolerate it, you will notice that it quickly loses its strength.

When you are dominated by your impulses, it is easy to fall into their trap. But being aware of how everything works is a big step towards controlling your emotions.

Once you know what’s affecting you and what you can do about it, the hard part is maintaining that control.

With a lot of patience and acceptance of anxiety, you will be able to take control of your life and no longer be dominated by your impulses.