How To Overcome Resistance To Change
Resistance involves barriers or obstacles, whether conscious or subconscious, that prevent us from moving forward. This includes beliefs and emotions. Many people show resistance to change due to fear, anxiety or the pain the change can cause.
Why do we oppose?
Fear of the unknown
Leaving our ” comfort zone ” and venturing out into a gigantic desert we have never seen before fills us with fear – even fear and panic.
Lack of information
We experience resistance when we do not know what we will find. One of the biggest fears is uncertainty. When we are not sure of something, we feel insecure. We do not have anyone holding our hand and we have to move forward almost blindly. But we must do it; we must master the uncertainty.
Fear of failure
What if it does not go well? What if I fail ? Think about the pain it will cause. What will others say if we do a bad job and what if they laugh at us? Fear of failure is one of the most paralyzing fears there is. But it exists only in our minds.
Fear of disappointing others
Many of us want to please others and make them happy, and we are also hyper-aware of what others are saying about us. We are afraid of making them dissatisfied if something goes wrong, that we will be repulsed if we say what we think or are ourselves, that we will let them down. We should be aware of this fear so that we can overcome it.
Fear of what others will say
In our culture, what others say is very crucial. People tend to point at you if you do something different. But at the same time, society encourages us to be different and say what we think. This contradiction makes us confused, scared and insecure.
Fear of being incapable
This fear is manifested through negative thoughts that we force on ourselves, such as “because I am incapable”, “because I am stupid” or “because it will never go well for me”.
Lathet
Many of us live by the law of least resistance, and therefore we are exhausted by all that requires the least effort. We leave things as they are because we do not want to make the effort required to change them, because the mere thought of it makes us tired. Why change something that is not so bad anyway…
Better a poor horse than no horse at all
This Spanish expression keeps us in the comfort zone. Why should we leave our comfort zone if we are already feeling well? Even if a change could be positive and improve our lives, we do not want to risk it actually turning out to be negative.
Fear is obviously the driving force behind resistance to change, which is a mental barrier we force on ourselves. Ignorance and laziness also work together with fear to prevent us from taking the first step towards change.
Structural resistance to change
This refers to external changes. For example, changing courses or educational programs, a change in the relationship, a move to a new house, etc.
An example of external, structural resistance to change is the subtle mistreatment of women. Our environment, culture and our society force women to be in a special way: to always be beautiful and perfect, wear high heels, use makeup, etc.
It’s okay if the women themselves want to do this. But it is not okay for society to constantly bombard women with demands and subtle mistreatment so that it seems as if they do not fit into society when they do not do what is expected of them.
These types of external resistance cause fear, insecurity and negative feelings towards those who make them feel compelled to be in a specific way.
Personal resistance to change
Personal resistance to change refers to the three basic pillars of change: wanting to change, being able to change and knowing how to change.
We can say no to change; it is entirely within our rights. But we must be aware that we have made this decision.
However, we tend to set up mental barriers between us and what we want and what we know will make us happy. There is a simple solution.
In addition to using our willpower, we should keep the following steps in mind:
- Define the goal and the result we want.
- Go through all the possible decisions we can make and choose one.
- Compile a list of things to do.
- Establish the steps we must take.
- Think about how we should follow our progress.
- Be persistent. This is very important. If we want something , we must not give up so easily.
- Predict what might happen. Establish a plan for if something goes wrong.
And now… are you ready for change?
Remember that you have many people around you who are ready to help and support you. You’re not alone.
If there is a problem you are ignoring, train yourself, learn, read and ask questions before you throw yourself into the unknown – you will be happier. And if you want something enough, you must ultimately believe in your ability to perform and tag yourself – the resistance will be crushed without any problems!
