Sometimes All We Need Is A Caress

Sometimes all we need is a caress. Nothing else. We do not want the same old words, nor the same old phrases that have been used over and over again. We want to be confirmed, welcomed and valued by this light touch to our skin…

Few things have such an emotional and mental calming effect as a light caress. Furthermore, in the field of humanistic psychology and transaction analysis, it is said that we all need to be touched by the people we love in order to feel “recognized”.

Nothing is more enjoyable than an unexpected caress, for example from a person who, despite hundreds of scars, is able to offer the softest of caresses.

Sensory deprivation is a reality that is not only experienced by a baby and his mother, but also in couple relationships, and it can happen at any time. These are bands where sufficient contact is made, where the person is not recognized with the help of caresses, hugs or kind words…

In this type of relationship, there is no transmission of affection or of the love that goes beyond words. A child who suffers from maternal sensory deprivation develops much more slowly and can later suffer from reactive and emotional disorders.

On an emotional level and in a relationship, it may be that one of the two people does not have an implicit, emotional wisdom in his simple caresses, which helps to build an authentic relationship.

In these cases , the other member of the relationship will feel empty and doubt his feelings as well as the validity of the relationship compromise. Caresses are the food that the soul and our emotional brain need to feel part of the world; as part of the things we love.

A caress is a powerful weapon, an important gesture that envelops the whole world with emotions, inner balance and psychological well-being. This need to be recognized is something that will characterize us for life.

It is also said that the way a person receives caresses during his or her childhood will determine the way he or she expects to receive caresses.

If the person never received caresses, it is very possible that he or she will not know how to offer them. But the need to receive them will no doubt be very intense, even though the person does not really perceive this need. It is complex because our shortcomings in childhood capture many of our aspects in adulthood.

And even though there are many interpersonal differences, the need for touch, closeness and affection is universal. It is found not only in humans but also in other animals. We can actually see this need in our pets.

But let’s take a look at the basic characteristics and psychological effects of caresses.

For a caress to have an effect, relevance and excess power, it must be unconditional. I caress your face with my hand because that’s what my heart feels, because I recognize you as a part of me. And I do this selflessly – unconditionally.

A caress is beyond all sensory stimulation. An emotion is produced, but for it to be authentic and unconditional, the caress must evoke positive emotions.

If the caress is sincere and unconditional, a sufficient reciprocity is established. The two people recognize themselves as part of each other. They receive these caresses as a type of language that binds them together and reinforces them.

We do not caress others just to offer pleasure, to soothe or nurture and reward. We caress to send a part of ourselves and build a band.

When a caress is given, it is what it is. Later, the other person must judge it as authentic or false. For we must not forget that there are also caresses that can cause harm; pious or ironic caresses that can ruin the band.

A caress says a lot about us. Therefore, we must offer them calmly, with tenderness, and send the participatory messages that do not need words.

On our site we often talk about the concept of affection. It may be true that affection is often perceived as “addictive” or clinging to something or someone too much, but from a humanistic or emotional perspective, people need healthy affection to be able to form bonds.

A caress is an act by which we recognize, embrace and integrate one or more people into our being. They become part of our hearts, and we need this skin contact to confirm our feelings.