The Danger Of High Expectations
Sometimes we have extremely high expectations of certain people. It is inevitable and something we all have sometimes: we expect our partner to support us in everything we do without resisting; expect friends or family to solve all problems; expect them to be there every time we need them…
Establishing extremely high expectations of people around us can be a form of persuasion; almost a moral obligation for them to meet our requirements. It is a way of depriving them of their freedom ; something that is not in the least good with it. The truth is that the only one you should rely on completely is yourself.
For most of life, we expect things, wait for certain things to happen, and expect others to behave the way we want. However, we are not always aware that “expecting” is synonymous with “wanting”, and this suggests some manipulation.
It is always better for people in our lives to act with total freedom and in accordance with their own wills. If they do something for us, it’s because they really want it with all their hearts, and that’s why we thank them. And when they do not want to , we should not worry or become obsessed with it.
It is you you should expect things from; you who should be able to solve your own problems without putting them on someone else; you who should confront your fears and not project them onto others.
The dangerous power of expectations
Do not expect anything from anyone; expect everything from yourself. This statement may seem overwhelming, but we are sure you can come up with a situation where this idea describes what happened quite well. People have expectations every day, and often they involve a certain level of illusion.
For example, you may have certain expectations of your partner, such as that he or she should always be with you, give up everything for you and give you the highest priority. But let’s say your partner is going to take time off from work and tell you that he or she wants to take a trip with his or her friends. Some of you can not avoid feeling disappointed because a small part of your expectations have been broken and you do not know how to deal with this.
Does this mean that your partner does not love you? Obviously not. It just means that you have built up expectations that are too unrealistic, that involved a bit of anticipation where you predicted that certain things would happen, which then did not happen.
People tend to imagine future events and make assumptions about people based on how they want them to be. And when this fails, disappointment sets in. And do you know what happens when disappointment most of the times? Concrete expectations and hopes that we felt very confident about.
Never assume anything. You will be less disappointed when you avoid high expectations and becoming too attached to them, and in return you will be able to offer more freedom to others. Expect everything from yourself, because you are the creator of your own life.
Accept the unexpected
We know that it takes a lot, that it is not easy to accept that life is constantly changing; that the one you want today may not be the one you need tomorrow; that whoever supports you can now change within an hour. But how can you handle such daily uncertainties?
By staying balanced and taking control of your own life. You are the only one you can always trust, and you are the only one who should confront your fears and prevent you from feeling empty. Do not pass this responsibility on to others and do not force them to find solutions or be slaves below your expectations because you are afraid that they may disappoint you at any time.
Let them do things for you because they really want to, and not because you would punish or bully them if they did not. Let them be who they want to be, and be who you want to be; learn to walk through life with confidence and maturity, and create your own happiness. Expect a lot from yourself and live in harmony with others.
