We Are Called To Survive
In the end, without knowing why, there comes a day when we become cold and a little more cautious, and we begin to remember what self-love is. But those around us do not understand this necessary inner change. That’s when “magic” happens: others begin to appreciate the person you were before.
Anyone who says that people do not change is wrong. People do not change their behaviors or their personality from one day to another just like that. The process of change is much more intimate, intentional and even unpleasant, because we do not change, we grow. Something like this can be achieved by being fully aware of one’s own limitations and black holes.
On our complex journey through life, this cold is like turning around. It is a simple defense mechanism. For our existence not only implies that we face the complications of our daily lives, it is important that we have the ability to create our own survival process in order to be the true protagonists of this adventure.
A cold heart and the absence of the little things
Jeffrey Kottler is one of the most well-known proponents of change psychology. With books like Alone With Oneself , he teaches us that one thing is clear: people change because they need to and to be able to survive more effectively.
There is then a detail that never ceases to be interesting. For example, when it has been a while since you met a person, and when you meet the person again, you notice a change in his attitude, and you wonder “what has happened to this person?” . As Dr. Kottler points out, people do not go through great transformations, nor is it necessary for us to experience sudden events with a great impact to change.
The gossip in daily life is enough, all the little disappointments or words said or not said, and to give everything without getting anything in return. These are small patches of sand that create emotional deserts a little at a time, and which at the same time bring with them a much-needed change: that you start to prioritize yourself in order to survive.
To defend ourselves from the selfishness that haunts us
A cold mind is a mind that has grown tired of waiting. It is our self-esteem that strikes the alarm and our self-concept that goes out through the emergency exit to look for a solution. Being a little colder is the answer to the dissonance in life. It is to set up red lines so that our self-love can come back again.
So the most likely thing for the people closest to us is that they perceive this change and wonder why we are no longer the manageable people we used to be. It is also possible that they do not understand this change and instead feel disturbed by not finding that lock to our heart, which used to open all the doors to satisfy their selfishness.
This transformation allows us to dig deeper into various aspects that we will point out below.
Things that a cold heart has learned
A person with a slightly colder heart – who is not dead or destroyed or shut down – has understood that things can not always be the way we want them to be. We must accept them as they are and act accordingly.
We also know that sometimes life is not fair and that people are not always loyal or respectful. Before we focus our existence on what others do or stop doing to find self-validation, we should first discover that it is always better to put aside what we feel so that our self-love is not sacrificed.
Every defeat, every blackmail, and every stored emptiness has caused that “spark” of negative thoughts in our minds to flare up. After regaining calm and seeing the situation from the perspective of the heart, which has become somewhat colder, we understand that there are only two alternatives: to hold on to our own negativity or to disinfect it. We choose the other.
Sometimes everything that disappears and dies within us will return us to a reality. A slightly colder and wiser heart looks at things in more moderation, to decide what should stay and what should come out of our lives, and whether we believe it or not, there is nothing wrong with it.
For change is to grow and regain dignity. A natural process thanks to which the light finally shines through our scars.
