Why Is Self-esteem Important?

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is the perception we have of ourselves. Therefore, it is the ability we have to love, value, care for and respect ourselves. That’s how much we value all aspects of our lives. It supports the foundation of our personality. It is our main source of support.

Self-esteem is one of the keys to understanding ourselves and others.

It has two components: a sense of personal ability and a sense of self-worth. Canadian psychotherapist Nathaniel Branden confirms that it is the sum of our self-confidence and our self-esteem. It is an intimate experience that resides in the core of our being. It is what we think and feel about ourselves, and not what others think and feel about us.

Self-esteem begins to be generated already in the first years of our lives. During this time , our parents educate us in which behaviors are acceptable, dangerous and which cause anger and / or disapproval, etc.

This creates educational patterns for children in accordance with their family’s criteria. This sets a path for them and shows where they can and cannot go. This, together with variables such as environment and personality, constitutes the broad spectrum of self-esteem.

When do self-esteem problems arise?

The perception we have of ourselves influences almost all of our major decisions and choices. It therefore shapes the type of life we ​​live. Therefore, self-esteem is very important because it can affect all aspects of our lives.

If we have low self-esteem, we tend to be haunted by fear when faced with our own reality. We are accompanied by feelings of rejection, dissatisfaction and contempt for ourselves. We even believe that we have little value and hide behind a wall of mistrust, which pushes away other people.

When we have low self-esteem, we are overly sensitive to both external and internal criticism. Without a certain level of self-esteem, we can therefore not satisfy many of our needs. Judging and displacing ourselves gives rise to great pain.

If we have low self-esteem, we can actually present a false image of ourselves to the world. An image that focuses on what we think others think of us. We seek external approval, which is a double-edged sword. Because if we get it, we can feel a false happiness. But if we do not get it, we fall into depression.

In any case , we become dependent on the eyes of others to see ourselves because our own vision is not enough. And depending on someone else’s approval only strengthens our discomfort.

Most of us seek self-confidence and self-respect in any place except ourselves, which is why our search fails; this is because we forget that we are the ones who have the power to define who we are and whether we like that image or not. The secret lies in not judging ourselves.

According to Nathaniel Branden, we must do the following to build good self-esteem:

• Live consciously
• Teach us to accept ourselves
• Get rid of guilt
• Live responsibly
• Live authentically
• Help develop others’ self-esteem

Self-esteem is not determined by the social success we achieve, the physique we have or our popularity. It does not depend on anything beyond our control. On the contrary, it depends on our rationality, our responsibility and our integrity.

If we do not analyze our self-esteem, no one will do it for us. Stopping and observing how we value ourselves is a fundamental part of understanding the pitfalls we set for ourselves.