Your Reality Is Not Mine
I’m ready to share this reflection with you. It’s a gamble because you, the person sitting on the other side of the screen, may not share it, but it’s part of this endless game…
As you read more, you will understand.
We do not see things as they are; we see things as we are…
Stop for a moment and think about it.
You, with all your virtues and flaws, your experiences and the hopes that weigh you down, from anywhere in the world, wherever you are, look at your life and what happens in it according to your peculiarities and preferences.
I, with all my virtues and flaws, experiences and hopes that weigh me down, from anywhere in the world, wherever I am, look at my life and what happens in it according to my peculiarities and preferences.
And in our dialogues with others , we try to share our worlds, sometimes in the belief that they are the same. This is why it is sometimes so difficult to agree or understand each other.
We may both have actually insisted on the same action or being a participant in the same situation, but we have both experienced it in our own way in accordance with our own experiences, our preferences and our beliefs, etc. So in accordance with how we ourselves are.
This is the reason why every opinion is as valid as our own and why life and the constructions of our realities are so subjective. You with all your experiences, I with all my baggage, observe what seems to be the same thing, just to form a reality each .
Let’s take a look at an example:
We have both been invited to a party and we have both decided to go, but just before you leave, a friend calls you to confirm that you got the job at his company, a position you sincerely wanted. On the other hand, I had an argument with my partner, and we decided to end it. What my body tells me is to stay home, but I take courage when I think I will only sink even deeper if I shut myself in, so I decide to pursue the plans I had.
We meet there. You bursting with joy and I drowning in a sorrow I try to hide.
Despite this, we eat, talk and dance… and at one point in the evening a song reminds me of him. I can not avoid it and the party atmosphere begins to become somewhat confusing, nostalgic and melancholic for me, while you continue to dance, elated as if there was no tomorrow… and in the end I decide to go home. You still want to stay a little longer.
When I think back to the party the night before, I remember the song that made me sad, the dishes he liked so much and the constant mask I wore so that no one would notice my grief and connect it to our conclusion, while you remember your enthusiastic dancing and that you were more outgoing and entertaining than usual.
It almost seems like we were at different parties, right? The thing is, it was the same, but you had a great experience while mine was minimal because we both paid attention to different things.
Do you want more proof?
Often when we talk about emotions or abstract concepts such as love, friendship, trust or freedom, we think we are talking about the same thing, but there are differences.
I suggest you ask a friend to describe what these concepts mean to him; You will be amazed at how his or her nuances and views on them differ from yours.
That’s why it’s so important that during conversations we ask other people to tell them what the topic in question means to them. That way, you will find out their perspective. Their world, their reality.
A meeting between two people is the confluence of two worlds; two realities that must be reconciled if we are to be able to educate and get to know each other.
That is why we must be explicit with the other person and try not to demand or force on him our own vision. Keep in mind what I have been through; it has nothing to do with your experience.
Remember that we do not see things as they are, but as we are; and dare to discover other worlds, another reality!
